Beer Truisms

I rarely pass along humor I receive via email, many of them what I call "lazy forwards" (you know, the kind that have been forwarded from tens of people with nothing added). But my brother Brad sent this to me because he thought it would help me explain to others my love for a cold one every now and then. Slightly edited, here are a few of the better comments someone collected about beer:

Sometimes when I reflect on all the beer I drink, I feel ashamed. Then I look into the glass and think about the workers in the brewery and all of their hopes and dreams. If I didn't drink this beer, they might be out of work and their dreams would be shattered. I think, "It's better to drink this beer and let their dreams come true than be selfish and worry about my liver."
-- Babe Ruth

24 hours in a day, 24 beers in a case. Coincidence? I think not.
-- H. L. Mencken

To some it's a six-pack, to me it's a "support group." 
-- Leo Durocher

One night at Cheers, Cliff Clavin explained the "Buffalo Theory" to his buddy, Norm: "Well, ya see, Norm, it's like this: A herd of buffalo can only move as fast as the slowest buffalo. And when the herd is hunted, it is the slowest and weakest ones at the back that are killed first. This natural selection is good for the herd as a whole, because the general speed and health of the whole group keeps improving by the regular killing of the weakest members. In much the same way, the human brain can only operate as fast as the slowest brain cells. Excessive intake of alcohol, as we know, kills brain cells. But naturally, it attacks the slowest and weakest brain cells first. In this way, regular consumption of beer eliminates the weaker brain cells, making the brain a faster and more efficient machine. That's why you always feel smarter after a few beers."